Dear NARAL, NOW, Planned Parenthood, RH Reality Check and any and all people and entities who are pro-choice,

I am infertile. I want nothing more than to have a child. Wait. There might be one thing I want more than a child – I want the government to stay out of my uterus. Well, if I still had one I’d want them out of it.

You may be surprised to learn that most of us who can’t have children (or have lots of difficulty doing so) are NOT in favor of banning abortions so there will be more babies available to adopt. No. Simply…NO.

Most of us are HARDCORE Pro-Choice. You want to know why?

Because we are the ones who suffer all manner of weird pregnancy complications. We are the ones who have ectopic pregnancies and are forced to terminate. We are the ones who suffer repeat miscarriages. We are the ones who do IVF after IVF with embryos the doctors say look good but never get pregnant. We are the ones who are most terrified of personhood legislation because it directly impacts IVF and Assisted Reproductive Medicine in general. We are the ones who have to face the choice of late term abortions because testing shows severe genetic anomalies in our very much loved unborn fetuses. We are the ones whose bodies fail us and cause pre-term birth and put our own lives in danger.

No one is better acquainted than we are with the idea that not every embryo has what it takes to become a child and not every egg/sperm has what it takes either. And not every womb can carry to term. We are intimately acquainted with the fact that pregnancy can be dangerous to mind, body and spirit and it should therefore be a choice and not a legal obligation.

Many organizations are moving away from the term “pro-choice” in favor of “reproductive rights” claiming that every woman should have the choice of when and whether to have a child. I wholeheartedly concur. However, when your organizations talk about reproductive rights and freedom they rarely mention the flip side of the coin: infertility. We can’t control when or whether to have children. And no amount of free birth control pills or sex education is going to give us that control.

I propose that we join forces. I propose that your organizations add health insurance coverage for infertility as a cause. If we knew that someone out there was fighting for us also, perhaps we’d shed our anonymity and join your cause with even louder voices than we already use. Make us feel included and you will have 1 in 7 couples, all very educated in the reproductive process, fighting on your side. I can’t speak for everyone, obviously, but I know a lot of us feel this way.

Not that we don’t already fight on your side. I’m just saying that if we felt more included in your cause we might yell more loudly.

It’s just an idea. Think about it.