The Surro Gift Bag

April 2, 2014

Apparently it’s a tradition – for something that hasn’t been around long enough to have traditions – to give some sort of gift to your gestational carrier at transfer. When I first heard of this I didn’t like it. I mean, the woman is (hopefully) growing me a baby and I’m going to give her a gift basket? Um…no. So not comparable.

It just felt kind of wrong to me. Regardless of whether a gestational carrier is being paid for her services she’s not really doing it for the money. Or an edible arrangement. To me, it kind of just seemed like an insult to her. Even more so because B, in particular, is not a material girl. She doesn’t need or want lots of STUFF lying around.

Also…let’s be honest. I have issues with the whole buying a baby concept. Whether it be paying your RE, an adoption agency, a surrogacy agency, etc. Mixing money and babies is just never desirable (unless you’re morally corrupt).


I have to give her sticks to pee on. I’m a POAS addict. Or rather, I WAS. And while she may not be quite the addict I used to be I’m pretty sure she will want to pee on all the things. Well, all the sticks anyway. Sticks that say Pregnant vs Not Pregnant. So I’ll just wrap up the 5000 sticks with a bow and call it good.

[No I didn’t actually buy 5000 of them]

Wait. Transfer socks. Those are a thing. I never really did them but they are totally a thing so maybe I should get her some. [And after I did a tweep sent some more. <3]

And maybe a surro T shirt. I know she’s pretty psyched to do this and would totally wear something like this:

Its Complicated T shirt

Click on the image to see lots of other surro T-shirts. There are so many!

And maybe something to do on bedrest. Trashy mags?

Hhhmmmm. There are now several items accumulated. Perhaps they should go in…a bag. ???

But this is the Pacific Northwest and we’re a bit crunchy here (plastic grocery bags are banned in my city) so not a regular gift bag but a REUSABLE bag. Clearly that’s the way to go.

And thus my surro gift bag was born. Despite my original objections to it.

But now I have this big bag and not enough items to fill it. What else should go in it?

Chocolate. That one is kind of a no-brainer. Especially since just the FET meds gave her cravings. Imagine what cravings she’ll have if she gets pregnant! Cinnamon buns! I remember that she loves them and craved them when she was pregnant before.

Oh wait. Her husband is a baker. As in a professional baker. And kind of a chef as well. I can’t bake her anything and store bought won’t do either. Hhhhhhmmmm. What kind of food can I include for her that has a chance of being better than what her hubs makes? *light bulb*

What’s the one thing we can do at our house that they can’t do in their apartment? SMOKE MEAT. Right Guy. He loves to smoke things. Particularly pork.


Let’s see…now that we are adding in homemade bacon which is really for the whole family it seems silly to only put items for her in this bag. Her entire family is supporting her efforts in this arena and they should also be recognized for that. So hubs gets some beer and homemade hot sauce (the peppers were smoked), the wee one gets a toy to distract and a book about surrogacy. And the cat gets some treats, too. Because he oversees the shots.


You know what I’ve learned?

The gift bag is not about her. It’s about ME.

Once the contract was finished and she started meds, I HAD NOTHING TO DO. NOTHING. No shots, no appointments. It’s like the two week wait turned into a six week wait. And so thinking of and procuring all the gift bag items has been my distraction.


8 Responses to “The Surro Gift Bag”

  1. Kaitlin Says:

    I’m so glad we got to know the contents of the mystery bag you’ve been talking about! So so awesome. I think you did an amazing job. Plus, the bag itself is so perfect. #KitKaper

  2. Jenn Says:

    This is awesome! And so fun to read. I love that you personalized the bag 🙂 Congrats again on PUPO!

  3. Jess Says:

    Love it- and I’m sure B and her family did too. You are a great friend to B and mama to those babies already!

  4. hipsterczar Says:

    This bag may have been for your distraction, but I’ve never been such a considerate gift. You thought about every detail, every item so that it would be a meaningful gesture – and that’s what gifts are all about, right?

  5. C&C Says:

    Love this bag! Great job Fox. I especially want to point out the smoked meat, as I wipe drool off the corner of my mouth.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: