Holy Halloween, Batman!

October 30, 2013

First things first. This post is almost assuredly not about what you think it’s about. I just like catchy titles. 😉

I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time. I’m not sure why I didn’t do it before now. Perhaps out of fear that I was misremembering. Or out of hope that it would change. But I finally did it and, unfortunately, it seems I got low-res images or something but I maintain that I am NOT misremembering. It’s just that Medusa looked so much scarier on the big screen and, um, IN FOCUS.

If you’re lost, not to worry. Medusa is my uterus. Yes, I named her. I finally requested the Xray images from my HSG (hysterosalpingogram) from over a year ago and they came this week. I’ve seen other images that are more recent but I don’t think they saved any electronic images from the SISG (Saline-Infused Sonohysterogram) from earlier this year. Which, despite three months of Lupron (evil drug that puts you in a temporary state of menopause for those who don’t know) which was supposed to tame the Wild Wild West that is my uterus, basically showed the exact same thing as the HSG the year before.

This is the zoomed-in, low-res version so it’s not quite as clear as I remember it. But it appears that Medusa actually looks more like…Batman. That’s right – my uterus is dressed up for Halloween. Hands up! Who else dressed up her ute for Halloween? Anyone? Bueller?

xray image

All that darker gray stuff is my uterus. You can see how, on one side, the dye flows up and out my remaining fallopian tube. On the other side there is a stump. A much larger stump than I would have imagined they’d leave, frankly. But then the demarcation of intra-uterine cavity (dark gray) and uterine wall is kind of…well, MISSING. You see, the dye flows into the uterine wall. As well as into the pocket at the top that is Batman’s head. That’s where my zombabies implanted. Except, at the time, it wasn’t wide open like it is now. It was a pocket inside the uterine wall. Or my lining was so fluffy it appeared to be inside the wall.

Then there’s that weird spot where the dye seems to take an off ramp from the left fallopian tube (on the right side of the pic). No one is quite sure what to make of it – except that it is more likely a uterine issue than a tubal issue and that it is almost certainly caused by the adenomyosis.

I feel like no one really understands what adenomyosis is. I know it took me a long time to wrap my head around it. Ever since my first pregnancy when I first heard the word and, let’s be honest, began obsessivley googling it, I’ve been trying to imagine how exactly your uterine lining can grow into your uterine wall. And I’m not sure I really got it until I saw these images on the big screen. What looks all blurry and light-medium gray above is actually more like tiny rivers of dark gray through the light gray. There are tiny little rivers/nooks/crannies all over my uterus. Kind of like a bomb went off and shrapnel tore up the walls. Or as my RE said, “Your uterus looks kind of like…Swiss cheese.

[For serious, he really did say that]

I often refer to the “hole in my ute” which is not really a true hole – or at least they think it’s probably not…??? No one is sure whether it goes all the way through. But “hole” just seems the easiest word to describe the thing near the left tube where the dye just kept flowing. And even though it may not look like it in this image, it’s the largest problem area of all. All the other “holes” are tiny in comparison. More like a sponge than a hunk of cheese.

[No, YOU briefly toyed with the idea of naming my uterus with a SpongeBob theme]

Whatever analogy you choose, it boils down to this: Not Safe For Tiny Human Cells With No GPS.

T minus 19 days to eviction day.


4 Responses to “Holy Halloween, Batman!”

  1. Dipitie Says:

    Wow. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to get that image. Very disconcerting, I’m sure. At least the embabes have a place to go soon xoxo

  2. Kitten Says:

    I hope this isn’t too insensitive or gross to ask, but do you think you’ll ask to see your uterus after it comes out? Are they planning to do any kind of examination or tests? I know it won’t matter as far as your health goes, but I think I would want to know more, to see more, if I had the chance. Maybe. I really don’t know. Have you thought about it?

    • Furrowed Fox Says:

      Yes, I HAVE thought about it. It’s on my list of questions for my pre-op appointment next week. I think it will almost certainly be officially biopsied for adenomyosis. Beyond that, I’m not sure what it’s fate will be. I am also unsure about whether it will be removed whole or if it will need to be cut up a bit to get it out as I’m not having a trans-abdominal surgery. But yeah, I’m the kind who would want to see it if possible. When I was a kid I asked for my appendix in a jar since I had heard you get them. Sadly, my request was denied.

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