Roctober Surrogacy & Possessive Pronouns

October 9, 2013

The start of October included a flurry of surrogacy activity.

The (our?) gestational carrier had her first appointment with the RE. This is getting real!

The very next day, Right Guy and I positively ROCKED our visit with the social worker. We are officially declared sane and ready to move forward. I’ll probably write more on that later.

Blues Brothers

Felt like dancing after that appt

Apparently the appointment for the GC with the RE (alphabet soup anyone?) prompted the GC to come out of her closet. You see, in case you don’t follow either of us on Twitter or somehow missed last Friday’s Twittersplosion, the GC and I first met on Twitter and she is one of us (an Infertile in case you’re confused).

This helps me immensely as I’ve been struggling a lot with how to refer to her anonymously. People talk about “my accountant” or “her husband” using possessive language ALL the time. But that just feels incredibly wrong to me. This person, this awesome woman, is her own being. She may carry MY baby but she is not, and never will be, MY gestational carrier. I don’t control her or give her orders.

I haven’t asked her permission to link to her Twitter or blog from here and I don’t wish to ‘expose’ her any more than she chooses. But since she outed herself I think I can now just call her “B” on this blog (as opposed to GC).

But back to this possessive pronoun business…what do you think? Am I being overly PC? How else do you refer to people in your life with whom you have relationships? I don’t know why this one seems different to me. I say “my brother” all the time. But to say “my carrier” just sounds… wrong to me.


6 Responses to “Roctober Surrogacy & Possessive Pronouns”

  1. Dipitie Says:

    I’m so excited for you! I’m inclined to call her an angel, but that might be because I love you both so much. xoxo

  2. stupidstork Says:

    Yay I’m so excited!

    And I’m totes possessive so I’m no help. You are my Fox.

  3. Arwen Rose Says:

    So exciting!! I am with you in that when we do finally have a GC I might feel a bit bad about calling her MY anything….I would go with The Awesomest Woman Who Happens to be Carrying MY Baby…too long?! 😉

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