July 29, 2013

In case you hadn’t heard I am also blogging over at Fertility Authority these days. And I just posted a review of yesterday’s episode of True Life: I’m Desperate To Have A Baby. [I’m really hoping that one day soon that link will actually link to the full FREE version]

That was my official review. Now for the dirt.

Although I stand by my official review, I have a few more things to say.

1. The Name. I’m Desperate To Have A Baby I don’t like it. And I’m not entirely sure why. It’s totally accurate. I can’t argue with the word “desperate” at all. I am. You are. She is. We wouldn’t go through all that we go through if we weren’t, in some sense of the word, desperate to have a baby. But perhaps DETERMINED is a better word. I think it must be the combination of the word “desperate” and the platform of MTV. In the hands of MTV it seems to imply a level of desperation that we all joke about but would never stoop to: the stealing a baby off the street kind of desperation.

Come on. You know you joke about it. You even think it. You see a cute baby or toddler in a stroller on the sidewalk whose mother looks away for just a second… But we would never do that. THAT is desperation. IUI, IVF, adoption, surrogacy… these imply a level of DETERMINATION not desperation.

So yeah, I just said that I can’t argue with it and then I turned around and argued it anyway. Quite well, I think. Damn. I should have been a lawyer. 😉

2. My pet peeve, the word IMPLANT As I wrote earlier, this is not MTV’s fault. And, to some degree, it actually goes quite well with the juxtaposition that, I assume, MTV was going for: New to IVF couple vs. Old Time IFers. But it just grates on my nerves to hear someone say that the RE implanted the embryo in a uterus. Jenna, wherever you are out there I am super happy for you. But please say TRANSFER.

3. Candace & Chris DISCLAIMER: I “know” Candace (and Chris?) on Twitter. To my knowledge I have never encountered Jenna anywhere other than this episode. So it’s clear that I might be a bit biased. But I didn’t really know them that well. We haven’t interacted a lot.

So please believe me when I say… DAMN! The strength these two have is palpable. Candace actually had to do hours of an IV medication for this FET. ROCKSTAR, I say. Somebody get her a leather jacket. STAT. Not to discount the other couple but in the sport of Infertility they were in the Minor League. Candace and Chris… are in a ballpark all their own.

For this to have come through on TV, during such a high stress and emotional time, speaks volumes about the MTV folks. And about this couple. I don’t think I could put up with a camera lurking while I cried. Hell, I couldn’t even have the breakdown I knew I deserved with my first ectopic until I got home from the hospital. Ten days of docs and nurses and friends and family coming in and out was too much for me. I can’t imagine have a camera crew filming me for MONTHS.

These are stories that need to be told. We need to hear about the successes. We need to hear about the failures. And we need to hear about the losses along the way.

Or rather, OTHERS need to hear those stories.

But *I* needed to see the end. When I saw Candace’s reaction to her childhood friend offering to carry her baby for her I saw myself. That moment when you know you’re supposed to smile and be happy that you now have a solution to your problem but all you can do is walk away and do something else. Anything else. Because, after all you’ve been through this CAN’T BE REAL. There’s some sort of step you have to take backwards. You have to walk away from it in order to move forward later. Obviously I am still struggling to describe this feeling. But I recognized it in a heartbeat. And I only just learned yesterday that it was not unique to me.

Hugs to you Candace. And thanks for sharing.


3 Responses to “#TrueLIFe1in8”

  1. Abby Says:

    I can not seem to find the episode anywhere on MTVs website? I do agree with you on the title… Determined is a much more positive word.

  2. Dipitie Says:

    I missed it, but I do want to see it. Not really sure why, since I know it will bring some major pain back into my life. But I’m masochistic like that. Hence the CBEFM sticks sitting in my Amazon shipping cart.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: