Dating After Divorce – When Your Date Gets Hijacked

April 14, 2013

In case you missed it, I’m writing a series – Dating After Divorce – about the lighter side of weird post-divorce dating.

When Your Date Gets Hijacked
No, my date (the guy) wasn’t literally car-jacked or anything. And, if anything, I was the one who did the hijacking. You see, I picked up a straggler on our date. One who I found infinitely more interesting than my date. But let me back up.

It was technically a second date – we had previously met in person, very briefly, for coffee. I wouldn’t really classify it as a date. It was more of a “OK, yes, you look and act normal so we can meet again later” encounter. I can’t say I felt a spark over coffee but I also found no reason not to go out with him again. And so we agreed to meet at a local restaurant/bar.

This particular restaurant/bar sort of has two sides. Literally. One side is just a bar with music, drinks and appetizers and laid-back atmosphere. The other side is a bar with a restaurant – still casual but a bit more upscale than the other side. Since we were meeting at dinner time I sat at the restaurant-side bar waiting for him. An older man, a veteran, sitting next to me struck up a conversation with me. He had some really interesting stories to tell (as old veterans often do) and was lamenting with me about whether or not I had been stood up.

It turns out my date had been waiting for me at the bar on the other side. Once we located one another we headed back to the casual side to play some pool. My old veteran friend and his buddy wandered over. Perhaps they were feeling protective of me or maybe they were just curious. Or maybe they simply wanted a change of scenery. I don’t know. They ended up joining us in our pool game and were generally quite amusing. I was having a great time. With THEM.

My date was, quite obviously, an amiable guy as this did not seem to bother him in the slightest. The buddy eventually left and we got hungry. And Old Veteran tagged along with us, I think at my(?) invitation, to have dinner in the restaurant. So… my date got hijacked by Old Veteran (or perhaps I hijacked Old Veteran?). And I was having a blast! Only problem was… my date, my actual date, seemed pretty boring in comparison. 😉

We ate and talked and his…vanilla-ness just seemed to ooze. He was a nice guy and looked great on paper and I actually really love vanilla ice cream. He had kids already which I actually found attractive since I knew I might not be able to have them myself. He had a good job, was good looking… everything you want on paper. But he was…kind of boring. I was having a MUCH better time on my hijacked date with Old Veteran.

[Notice how this guy doesn’t even rate a nickname?]

And then the bill came and Old Veteran dropped some cash on the table and left us. And I offered to pay the check. Now, I really am ALL for FEMINISM and things being equal, yadda yadda yadda. But I also want to be WOOed in some way. So his lack of arguing about the check and immediate response to give it to me was… off-putting.

But he was oblivious.

He walked me to my car, kissed me goodnight, said he had a great time and invited me to come to his house for dinner the following week. Having no better prospects, I agreed.

And then Right Guy took his head out of his ass and asked me out (after previously turning me down when I asked him out) for the same night as the home cooked dinner. I dropped no-name-guy like it’s hot and went out with Right Guy instead.

[BTW, Right Guy paid for our date and we looked like we needed a room. I’m not big on PDA, but Helllooooo SPARKS!]

So, in short, here’s some dating advice:

  • If the old guy at the bar is more interesting than your date, just don’t bother trying another date with Boring Guy.
  • Require SPARKS. I told myself over and over while internet dating that maybe they would come later. It’s either there or it’s not. It’s not gonna grow out of thin air. Don’t waste your time.