Dating After Divorce – Vision Boy

March 28, 2013

In case you missed it, I’m writing a series – Dating After Divorce – about the lighter side of weird post-divorce dating.

After my divorce (or technically right before it was final) I moved to a new city. Wrong Guy was military and I lived in a military town and The Ogress had moved there. There were ZERO reasons for me to stay there. Moving home, or back to anywhere I’d live before, seemed almost… cowardly. So I went on a little adventure. Into the desert. Where gambling is not just legal but big business.

This was all a long time ago when online dating was still fairly new. The current big players, Match and eHarmony, were around but there was still quite a stigma attached to online dating. But I was broke and couldn’t afford those anyway. So I went the (arguably) trailer trash route and attempted to meet people for free on Yahoo. There were some scary people on there but also some that seemed relatively normal. I met DJ Guy that way. He was nice. But there was no spark. We hung out a few times.

At some point I did a free trial of Match. I honestly can’t remember which service it was that led me to Vision Boy. But somehow we found each other (and I didn’t pay for the privilege). We met for drinks at a casino.

Let’s take a moment and review some common sense Dating Rules. Mostly they are rules for any social situation involving new people or people you don’t want to offend such as clients, bosses, coworkers, etc.

Dating Rule #1: Never have more than 2-3 drinks on a first date. Unless it’s a really loooooong date.

Dating Rule #2: Unless they are serious dealbreakers for you, try to avoid the conversational (and controversial) topics of religion and politics. Small talk rules on first dates. If you make it to Date #2-4 bring it up then if it’s important to you.

Dating Rule #3: Do your best to leave your crazies and/or baggage at home locked in the closet. We all know you have them but the first date is NOT the time to introduce them.

Dating Rule #4: If you ask a person out for a second date, make sure you get his/her name right. This also applies for any sex (unless it’s one-night-stand sex and then no one really cares).

Admittedly, these rules can be difficult to follow post-divorce – or even post-bad breakup. But save the excessive drinking because you have baggage and crazies for a night out with your friends.

However, in this case, I wasn’t the one who broke the rules.

Back to the date. He was reasonably good-looking and at least a hair taller than me so we sat at the bar making small talk for awhile (like you’re supposed to). It went pretty well. He was a professional poker player. Not a profession I was familiar with… I mean, as a real job. It seemed pretty odd to me but I was trying to be open-minded and he seemed fairly normal otherwise. And if you’re a good enough gambler to actually make a decent living at it… who am I to judge? I’m the one with the crappy day job I hate.

After 2-3 drinks we went to dance in the club. The great advantage of casinos is that all these things are under one roof. Your date can turn into dinner and a movie or getting your groove on on the dance floor at a moment’s notice.

After a few dances, which led me to believe he was already drunk or a very uninhibited dancer, we headed back to the bar to cool off. More drinks. And then came the story. I don’t remember how the topic of religion came up – I feel fairly certain I didn’t start it. Although I freely admit that I don’t always shy away from this topic like I should if someone else brings it up. But somehow, the subject of whether or not there is a God, was being discussed. He was adamant that God exists. He said he had proof.

ME: Proof? How can you have proof? You can have faith but how can you have proof?

VB: Because I’ve seen God.

ME: You’ve…SEEN…God?????

VB: In a vision. I saw God. I know for a fact He exists.

ME: Um…you had a…vision? Was this some sort of desert/peyote induced vision?

VB: No. I just had a vision. I have them sometimes.

He talked for quite awhile about this vision while knocking back more drinks. I was oddly fascinated by it. For some reason, after volunteering that he had had this vision, and speaking about the general experience in great length, he decided it would be TMI to actually tell me what happened in the vision. Clearly his boundaries are different than my own.

In any case, it came to a point where I was going to need more alcohol to continue listening to him so I left while I could still drive home. I have no idea how he got home – he was fairly trashed. He had mentioned that he would be traveling for an international poker game the next week but that he would call upon his return.

Sure enough, when he returned I got an email addressed to some other woman asking me out on a second date. I politely responded pointing out his error. He was forever dubbed “Vision Boy” and I never heard from him again. 😉



2 Responses to “Dating After Divorce – Vision Boy”

  1. Kitten Says:

    Great story! I also used Yahoo! personals, which is how I met my husband. You’re right: lots of crazies! However, I was rejected by eHarmony and Match tried to match me with my cousin (gross!), so Yahoo! was really my only option.

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