January 21, 2013
First off, thanks to everyone for sticking by me in December. It proved to be a *rough* month. Two friends and one uncle died, I thought I made a friend but she blew me off, holidays with ILs + extra IL family drama, all combined with a lot of weird feelings about the New Year just made me CraaaaZy.
I really was dreading the New Year and all the “This will be my year” crap that goes with it. So I’m glad that’s over with. This will be… 2013. A new year. And nothing more. It will likely resemble all the years that came before it. No expectations for great things happening this year. And I’m happy with that. And so is my therapist. She thought it was a great idea for me to take control of my expectations.
But that week I did have three, count them – THREE, dreams about Wrong Guy. For no apparent reason. Usually I can pinpoint some trigger for them but this time… not so much. It was very disconcerting. I mean, I’m always left feeling unnerved after I dream of him but three in one week for no reason I can identify is very odd. I only really remember one of them and in that one his father died. So maybe it was really about me and Pops??? Who knows. That’s not really the dream I want to get into though.
Last week Right Guy had a dream. One that, to me, is practically transparent in its meaning. Although, I didn’t discuss that with him. We only talked about the literal meaning. He dreamt that our bitchy cat (who hates him) fell down an elevator shaft (nope, none of those in our house) and died. And he was heartbroken. This is a cat he claims not to like because she’s so bitchy (she really is very bitchy but at least she likes me) yet he was so sad at losing her. Um… dead cat, elevator shaft… anyone else here see the obvious?
Men are so weird. Me… I had a complete breakdown a few weeks ago over the anxiety of trying another FET and what that could mean. Right Guy? He dreams about our cat dying. I’m pretty sure the causes were the same. 😛