Instant Karma’s Gonna Get You

November 5, 2012

I really love the idea of karma. The idea that what goes around, comes around. The idea that if you are generally a nice person and kind to others that things will balance in your favor over the course of your life – more good than bad will befall you.

But karma can be a beeyotch.  Don’t tempt her.

I knew I was teasing her when I wrote this last night:

Dear Kids With Cancer, I’m really sorry you have cancer. Really and truly. But sometimes I have a bad day. So sometimes I need attention too.

Followed by this:

Karma is gonna get me for that last post. I just know it.

I had had a bad day. Normally, I’m pretty good at keeping things in perspective. But we all have meltdowns occasionally and I had a mini one yesterday while Right Guy was working.

He was distant when he came home. That, and a snarky comment he had made the night before, did not help improve my mood. And so I tempted karma with that post.

This morning he told me that two kids died on his watch yesterday. And a third while he was on call at home overnight.

I would never want to take away the doctor from the dying kids. Nor minimalize what he must feel when they don’t make it. I really don’t think I’m a selfish person.

But.

I still need him to be there for me. At least some of the time.

At the very least, my timing sucks. Perhaps I should schedule my breakdowns for times when he’s not on call.

How do others deal with sharing their mate with a job that really is more important?

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