What Next?

October 5, 2012

I’ve been off living real life lately and neglecting the blog and Twitter. It’s been good for me though.

People have been asking me how I am and… I’m not sure how to respond. I’m… OK.  Not great. But not bad.

Seeing old friends has been awesome. Living life has been good. But I am at a crossroads. In more ways than one.

Obviously there’s still the next steps of creating my family looming over me. Decisions need to be made and actions taken. But I’m also at another intersection in life: what to do / where to go next with everything else in life.

Now that Pops is gone I have more free time. And I’ve been slowly plodding away at getting my life in order. His estate is finally closed out. My old employer’s retirement account is being rolled over. My passport has been sent off for renewal. I’m approaching the end of that mundane paperwork ToDo List.

Not that my house is clean and organized, mind you, but I’ve been playing catch up on all the things I neglected while taking care of Pops and going through IF treatments.

And now…what do I do?

I have no idea anymore how to live life when I’m not getting slammed from every direction. This should be a good thing. But it feels hollow.

So that’s how I am. Meh. By all rights better than I have been in a long while (almost a full year with no ER!). But still…not great.

Perhaps I expect too much.

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