The One Where I Don’t Know What To Say…

September 24, 2012

I feel like I should write something. I feel I owe my followers (ha! all 3 of them) an update. I feel I owe myself some release/relief.

But I just don’t have much going on right now. At least, not on the baby making front.

I’d say we’re definitely both leaning toward the NewREs’ viewpoint of NOT using my body again. But we haven’t definitively made that decision.

The one potential gestational carrier offer we’ve had is still thinking on it. And I don’t begrudge her taking her time. It’s not something to be decided lightly or quickly.

But I think I want to put it out there to others I know to see if anyone else would consider it. However, Right Guy has been hesitant.

Although I may now finally understand (sort of) his hesitancy.

It seems, in true man fashion, he just doesn’t want to talk about it – with other people, that is. Not that he loves talking about it with me, but… he REALLY doesn’t want to discuss it with others. So apparently, it *may* be OK with him for me to solicit potential offers as long as they are women he doesn’t know.

On the one hand, I sort of get this. On the other… well… what if someone says yes? What’s he going to tell people? That we grew a kid in the garden?

He seems to think he’ll deal with that when/if it comes. But for now, he doesn’t want every female he knows coming up to him asking about this. But all I see are uteri these days. I have to stop myself and remember that there are PEOPLE there, not just potential hosts.

That might sound horrible. I’m not like that. Really. But when you know your frosties’ best chance is to grow in someone else… all women become potential hosts. Right or wrong… I’m a Momma Bear trying to protect her unborn cubs.

And protecting them most likely means giving them over to someone else for 9 months.


One Response to “The One Where I Don’t Know What To Say…”

  1. Thinking of you both *lots* while you make this crazy hard decision. It may be that Right Guy would be fine telling people once your Gestational Carrier reached a certain point in pregnancy?

    Anyway, I’ve no idea what I’d do in your shoes. I suspect my husband would be completely against my putting my body at risk with odds like that, but the draw to “do it yourself” is really strong.

    Just wanted to say that I’m here and thinking about you. (And I don’t “follow” blogs, I just open them all up from my bookmarks every day, so you have at least 4 followers! đŸ™‚

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