The Story of Wrong Guy – Part IV

August 19, 2012

If you want to catch up click the links for Parts 1-3.
Part I
Part II
Part III

At the end of Part III I had hastily moved out of my house after being told that I was never loved and essentially a boring person.

I drove to my friend’s house. She and her husband said I could stay there. While she and I went out and bought me a futon to sleep on, her hubs cleaned out his “Army room.” He was being deployed soon anyway and would be packing it all up soon regardless. I was worried about being a burden to them when they should be enjoying each other before he left but he was actually kind of happy to know that I’d be with her after he left.

The phrase “Hot Mess” was not around at that time but I think my state fit the definition to a tee.

Harry Potter saved me. Almost literally.

I couldn’t sleep at night during this time. So I read all the Harry Potter books every night until I fell asleep thinking of magic and Muggles instead of men who never loved me.

Not living at home anymore, I felt compelled to confess the separation to my family. Crazy Momz sent me a book about saving your marriage by embracing religion and just doing whatever the man said. No matter what the man did. **EYE ROLL**

I couldn’t stand all the looks of pity I was getting. Or that tone of voice people took on when speaking to me. It was as if I had cancer or something. So I told people to stop that shit. Stop walking on eggshells around me and just treat me normally.

My brother took me at my word and announced his engagement. **GUT PUNCH**

I couldn’t eat.

I can’t remember what she said, but after speaking with my MIL one night I ended up crying so hard I puked up what little dinner I had eaten. I think it was the most dinner I’d eaten in two weeks and prior to the puking I had been quite proud of myself for having eaten so much. Oh well.

The only reason I went to work was because the thought of sitting around all day crying was worse.

I attempted counseling. I wanted marriage counseling. I STILL wanted to save my marriage. I even got him to meet me for a session.

After that, the counselor, if you can call her that, offered me divorce counseling. Um… Therapy 101 – don’t tell your client something s/he is not ready to hear. I asked the inevitable “Why me?” question. And got some sort of “Well things could be worse” response. And then I asked, “What could be worse than this?” To which she replied: Cancer.

When Pops got cancer a few years later that was the VERY FIRST thought I had.

Seriously, that woman had no business counseling people. I stopped going.

Then I got my cell phone bill. You probably saw this one coming. I didn’t. Apparently I was a moron.

Remember that camping trip? By himself, in December. To be alone and get his head together. Yeah, THAT one.

Remember when there were roaming charges if you used your phone outside of your home area? And itemized bills detailing ALL calls in and out and where they originated from? Yeah, you know where this is going.

He didn’t go camping. He went on a road trip. Through FIVE states. And not the smallest ones. To see The Ogress. The calls to her along the way, and the ones to me, provided me with his exact route.

This time he admitted to sleeping with her.

At least he agreed to pay the stupid bill with all the roaming charges.

I went to my doc to go back on the pill. And I requested STD tests.

I got an email from Wrong Guy a few days later. It said my doctor had called and wanted me to call him back.

Having apparently completely forgotten the ‘my husband cheated on me’ talk and only remembering the ‘we’re trying to get pregnant’ scenario he proudly and enthusiastically tells me I’m pregnant. He would have called sooner but the test was negative before and it has now magically turned positive over the weekend.

Um… how exactly did it magically turn positive?

Well, it would be consistent with you just being a little bit pregnant. As in, just about a week or so.

But that’s impossible.

Are you sure? Maybe you should come in for another test.

Um… ya think?

That night I stressed about whether I should have a glass a wine even though I knew it was folly. I couldn’t get Wrong Guy’s words out of my head, “Maybe if we had kids things would be different.” I think I forgot to mention that quote earlier. It haunted me for awhile. Not that I would want someone to stay with me purely “for the sake of the kids” but to tell me that as you’re leaving me… it just added insult to injury.

After my repeat HCG, I went back to the house to get a few things when I knew he wouldn’t be there. He’d managed to kill my cactus. And the cats were… not happy. Happy to see me maybe, but the house was a wreck. And he’d rearranged all the furniture. I took practically ALL the CDs.

The pregnancy test came back negative. No surprise there. STDs all negative as well.

But I started to wonder about that semen analysis… Was he really shooting blanks, or had he cheated on me just before providing the sample when he was supposed to abstain? He “filled the cup” right after that weekend we visited her…

Jesus, this is getting long. I thought it would be three posts at most but I’m pretty sure there’s still at least two more. Well, no one says you have to read all this drivel in one sitting…

Stay tuned.

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2 Responses to “The Story of Wrong Guy – Part IV”


  1. Good lord. I was just able to sit down and read all of this un interupted. This is crazy. I can’t believe the complete lack of… Humanity. Wtf. They deserve each other. You deserve much more.


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