One step forward, two steps back

August 11, 2012

Warning. Impending negativity here.

I feel like I try and try and try. But don’t move forward.

I go to docs, I do the tests, I’ve even been pregnant twice but I don’t get the baby. And now I *can’t* try anymore, not with my own body anyway.

I have issues with depression/anxiety. Again I go to docs, try to find a therapist, try to exercise more.  But my insurance won’t cooperate on the therapist front – everytime I see a profile I think I like it’s for someone not on my insurance.

My body rebels at most exercise these days so I’m supposed to take it easy on the exercise front (yes, that’s doctor’s orders). That pretty much means swimming. Which I love. But finding an available pool is another matter. Toto, were not in NC anymore. Pools are scarce.

It’s so hard to keep trying and striving for a physically and mentally healthy life when I feel beat up by each new effort. I’m really going for the ‘fake it until I make it’ scenario here. But for how long do I keep trying?

Whatever happened to try, try, try and you shall succeed?

I must be doing it wrong.


One Response to “One step forward, two steps back”

  1. I completely, completely understand where you’re at. This was basically my week (month/year) right down to the bit about the pool… le sigh. We are stuck. Stuck sucks. 😦

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