All Over the Map

June 11, 2012

The title kind of says it all. Today, and I suspect most of this week, is going to resemble last summer’s cross country drive.

One one side of the map I am in such an awesome place. Our Pacific Northwest Infertility TweetUp this past weekend was just what I needed. I met some awesome ladies and spent time with one or two I knew already (but got to know better). Aside from just meeting new (did I mention awesome?) people, I really just needed to get the hell out of the house and do stuff – or hang at the house with people. In short, I need local friends. And this weekend I had/made some.

On the other side of the map we have the first anniversary of Pops’ death looming. He died the day before Father’s Day last year. Due to Leap Year the anniversary falls the day after this year. Which, as far as I’m concerned, makes three days to dread: Father’s Day itself, the anniversary, and the day after when I inevitably realize that one year having passed doesn’t magically make it better. Not to sound too depressing, it has been better the past few months – the pain is fading and becoming more… wistful. But the day itself… I will re-live it. And it was traumatic. Dying just ain’t pretty.

Which brings me to the other spot on the map I’ve been visiting. Some of you out there in the twitterverse have been unfortunate enough to be experiencing ectopics (or potential ectopics) of late. And given that I’m contemplating (not planning mind you, merely contemplating) another transfer I’m reliving that hell as well. In my head, of course. Which is not nearly as bad as what the other ladies are going through right now. If I can be of any assistance/help to those who are suffering what I’ve already been through then I’m here for you.

You know they have travel apps where you can put a virtual pin in all the places around the world you’ve been to. I think I want a map that shows life experiences (both happy and sad) as locations so I can pin them and see how crowded it gets. We could have Infertility Continent with countries and cities for miscarriage, ectopic, unexplained, etc… Is there an app for that?

travelmap

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2 Responses to “All Over the Map”

  1. B Says:

    I am so glad that we were able to meet this week. You are a truly beautiful woman (in every way!) and it’s a honor to call you a friend.
    I’ll be here every step of the way as you proceed along this journey. Let me know if there is anything I can do on father’s day. It’s a tough day for me too as my father died three years ago. I’d be happy to chat or send you photos of cute cats or whatever else might be helpful to you.

  2. Melissa West Sandberg Says:

    I understand the feeling of all over the map. I’m looking to do an out of the box IUI with FET next month, after a hellish intraabdomial ectopic in March followed by a chemical in May. Impatient, annoyed, pissed off, wanting to lose weight and get healthier yet still overeating, drinking, working too much to pay for these treatments, and exhausted… it all sucks. If you decide to go for it, I wish you the best. I also lost my dad 14 years ago… you try to ignore it but it still creeps up on you to bite you in the butt.


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