November ICLW

November 21, 2011

Hi everyone. I think it’s been over a year since I participated in ICLW. I’ve been… kinda busy. In the last 14 months I’ve had two ectopic pregnancies, cared for my dying father and moved across the country (which also meant quitting my job and trying to find a new one). So… yeah, just a little busy – with pretty much every major life stressor there is (and yet people still ask when we’re getting married – like I have time for that right now). Since it has been so long perhaps I should fill in any newcomers with a summary of my story.

I was originally diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure while I was still on birth control. I was having hot flashes and night sweats. At the ripe old age of 35. When I went off birth control I rarely ovulated on my own. I did the clomid thing. And then moved on to injectibles. Right Guy’s swimmers are AOK so we were just doing timed intercourse. But it seems my ovaries decided to make a come back and I ended up with 6 eggs in play. With the choice of canceling the cycle or converting to IVF, we converted. We weren’t sure I’d ever be able to produce that many eggs again.

The IVF worked. But at 6w6d I went in for an ultrasound and they saw nothing. I was told I probably had a missed miscarriage and would start bleeding soon. They checked my beta for confirmation. A few hours later my RE called and said Go To The ER NOW. My beta was 42000 – right where it was supposed to be. Fast forward through lots of tests, a D&C and a laparoscopy and they determined the pregnancies were in the muscle wall of my uterus. Rather than remove part or all of my uterus I spent 10 days in the hospital (waiting to see if my uterus would rupture) and ultimately received 7 doses of methotrexate over 5-6 months before beta=0. That IVF was August of last year. I was officially UNpregnant in February.

During those months, Pops’ cancer came back. For the third time. It was difficult, if not impossible, for me to care for him while I was going in for beta blood draws 2-3/week. And I ended up having to get methotrexate shots the same days he had chemo. Three months in a row. The chemo kept putting Pops in the hospital so we decided to stop and call in Hospice. During this time I was forbidden from trying to get pregnant while my uterus attempted to heal. Despite the fact that I might have been ovulating. And I was trying to plan my move knowing that I likely couldn’t move myself until Pops passed. We moved for Right Guy’s job so I still had to coordinate everything for him to move on time. Which turned out to basically coincide with Pops’ death (Right Guy was driving across the country during Pops’ funeral).

Fast forward. I managed to get through Pops’ death and funeral, clean out both our houses and ship stuff across the country and drive myself across the country. Somewhere in the middle of all that my RE finally gave me the green light to try again. I scheduled a FET for September before my insurance ran out since it was partially covered. I thought creating life would be the perfect way to honor Pops. I rolled the dice. I made a bet that the universe couldn’t possibly hate me enough to give me another ectopic. I was wrong.

Since I had just moved I had trouble finding a doc to give me an early ultrasound. So my old RE ordered tests from across the country and there was an inevitable delay in getting the results. In any case, this time it was tubal. We tried methotrexate again, but I ended up in surgery and they removed the tube.

That was about a month ago. And here we are. The bills for surgery are just starting to arrive. And I’m waiting to see if I will ovulate on my own or not. The original diagnosis has been called in to question due to conflicting bloodwork. But when your RE uses words like “anomalous” and “wonky” to describe your body… and another RE agrees with the description… all bets are off.

So welcome. Life (and therefore this blog) has been a little tragic of late. But there’s some humor here. Somewhere. If nothing else there is crazy and that’s always good for a laugh. Click on something in the tag cloud on the right and explore.


13 Responses to “November ICLW”

  1. B Says:

    You have had a hell of a year. I hope there are many good things in store for you. And it is totally okay for your blog to be a bit tragic, you’ve been through more than most people could survive in one piece.

  2. Trisha Says:

    Sorry to hear about all your loses this past year. Hopefully 2012 will bring you some much happier experiences.

    ICLW #12

  3. M Says:

    I’m so sorry for you losses. ((hugs))

    ICLW #51

  4. Lynn Says:

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! Nicknames really have a way of bonding us to our parents, don’t they? I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. My dad actually passed away this past summer as well, so I really can understand your pain. (And I’ll pause to say this – even though he’s passed on, you’ll never stop being his Punkin’. I’ll always be my dad’s Turkey).

    I’m sorry life has treated you so shoddily over the past year. I hope and pray things will turn more positively for you very soon! Welcome back to ICLW!

    ICLW #38

  5. Detour Says:

    I am so sorry for the loss of your father. Holidays are the worst for bringing the pain right up to the surface. I’m so sorry for your pregnancy losses, too. It’s awful that you’ve been through so much medical drama in the past year, too. Take care!

  6. Sarah Says:

    WOW, that is one roller coaster of a year!!

    I hope that 2012 is much better year for you!!!

    ICLW #68

  7. I am so, so sorry for your losses. Do you have any plan for another IVF?

    Happy ICLW and Thanksgiving.

  8. jes g Says:

    hoping 2012 brings you some happiness

  9. St. Elsewhere Says:

    What a year it has been! Sorry about your Dad’s passing away and the two ectopics.

    I read your TTC history, and realized that you are benched till Feb 2012. I hope your docs will have a solid protocol for you in place.

    Take Care!

  10. Wow. You sure have had a lot of things going on. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all that in such a short amount of time. I hope that you’re ok.

    Stopping by from ICLW

  11. LisaB Says:

    Oh my, what a roller-coaster you’ve had 😦 I hope the new year (or before) brings much happier times. I can relate to being robbed of your childbearing years…I’ll be hitting menopause soon and I’m 29. Much love and luck!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog ICLW #29

  12. HR Hughes Says:

    Sorry to read about all the loss you’ve experienced. 2010 was kind of like that for me. 2 misarriages, a move across country, my mother-in-law went into hospice care during our move and passed a few weeks later. i was taking chlomid and a total nutbag after the miscarriages becuse I stopped ovulating. It all just sucks. I hope you find some joy and peace soon.Big hug ICLW #59

  13. Theresa Says:

    Holy Cow. That’s way more than one person should have to endure. Here’s hoping that 2012 is full of blessings for you.

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