Making Friends

November 6, 2011

I’ve at least made peace, if not friends, with my new RE. We got off to quite the bumpy start. I absolutely LOVE my old RE. Which makes her very difficult to replace.

To fill you in (in case you missed this saga)… I moved across the country and did a FET at basically the same time. So I had to find a new RE or OB pronto. With my ectopic history I needed an early ultrasound. Long story short, no one would take me as a patient AND give me an early ultrasound. Everyone I spoke with said I had to wait until I was 8-10 weeks pregnant for an ultrasound. Even after I explained that I was hospitalized at 6w6d with my first pregnancy.

Generally speaking, REs are (I think) the only docs who do early ultrasounds – at least on a regular basis. But no RE wanted to do followup care for another clinic’s patient. I suppose their reasoning is that it’s silly to take on a patient for 2 weeks and then release them to another doc. But I was worried about a repeat performance (a 10 day hospital stay will make you a little paranoid). So I was… a little crazy and A LOT scared. After calling many places and being refused early care, I had to call my old RE and they were able to arrange for me to go to the new RE but the old RE was ordering the tests and calling the shots. From a different time zone. Which meant that I didn’t get test results in a timely fashion. I had accepted the fact that there would be a delay. BUT. One beta took 4 days (it was a weekend Thurs-Mon) to get back to me. I went… well, just a little ballistic about that.

That Monday, I was already upset that I didn’t have my beta back from the previous Thursday. I was 6w pregnant and having my 2nd ultrasound (they didn’t see anything on the 1st at 5w3d). The new RE wasn’t ready to make the official diagnosis but it seemed probable I had ANOTHER ECTOPIC. And so… ballistic I went. I was sobbing hysterically and questioning the competence of this new clinic and its staff. And I was lectured for it the next day. Which did not endear the new RE to me. I do not enjoy being lectured by my doctor in general. Especially not for advocating for my care. And REALLY especially not while I’m being told I have ANOTHER ECTOPIC pregnancy.

I may not have handled the situation with my usual grace (haha) but I stand by my behavior. I had to get someone’s attention to get the care I needed. I was officially transferred as a patient that afternoon. Whether I liked the new RE or not, at least I knew I had someone to call locally. Some recourse other than the ER.

By that Wednesday I had my methotrexate shot. But I guess it didn’t work quickly enough. By Thursday night I was in horrible pain and I went in to the clinic Friday morning. The ultrasound revealed no change in the “mass”/”fluid pocket”/blob in my right tube. I was given what I consider to be painkiller Lite and sent home. Painkiller Lite, at the twice the dose prescribed, did NOTHING for my pain. I called back. The nurse finally called back and said the RE would not give me anything more for the pain. If I couldn’t take the pain then I should go to the ER and they’d take my tube out.

You should really know better than to offer me a challenge. If I can’t take the pain? I have a high tolerance for pain. And I’m kind of stubborn. And I loathe the ER. And I’m quite literally attached to my body parts. But I was going to go to the ER. I called Right Guy and asked him to come home to take me. By the time he got there I was reevaluating. Who wants to spend Friday night in the ER? He examined me and pronounced me “stable.” So we waited. The RE called and asked what was up. I guess she had been waiting to be paged. I told her we were waiting it out. She said she thought I should go to the ER. The conversation was short.

She called again Saturday morning and invited me to the clinic for another ultrasound. I immediately accepted. It was becoming clearer by the minute that the hospital was in my near future. This time the ultrasound showed that the blob was bigger. And possibly leaking into my abdomen. I finally accepted that I was going to have to be cut open and lose a tube. She called the hospital and arranged everything.

I’ve had some pretty speedy and good care at another ER/hospital. But this time… they rolled out the red carpet. I never sat in a chair in the waiting area. I bypassed triage. They IMMEDIATELY whisked me away to a room (with a door!! not just a curtain) and a bed and I had 4 nurses fawning all over me taking vital signs and putting in 2 IVs. I even had the charge nurse caring for me. Whether it was my diagnosis or my new RE, I had people jumping to take care of me.

Surgery went fine and I went home (although they gave me the option to stay overnight). But then I stewed for two weeks worrying that I was going to be lectured again for not going to the ER sooner. Or for not trusting her. Or something. You never want to be lectured by your doc. It’s not conducive to follow up care. But then I saw this: Best Reproductive Endocrinologists. My new RE is on the list.

I decided to give her a chance. More importantly, I decided to try and NOT be a basket case (for once) in her presence.

I had my follow up appointment a few days ago. It seems we now get on fabulously. I might even like her.

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One Response to “Making Friends”


  1. Heh – my RE is on that list too! And the RE that gave us Monkey. Strangely enough? The horrible RE that I wasted last year with? Not on that list? And NO ONE from her clinic is. I feel vindicated.

    I am, as you know, as you may have heard, uhg, I hate this saying at this point, So Very Sorry you had to go through this. Thinking of you often, dear cycle sister.


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