The Fat Lady

October 1, 2011

I’m not calling it just yet. But I’m getting close to the end. I’m waiting for the Fat Lady to sing. Ever since I found out that the other embryo didn’t make it to blast my hopes and confidence in this cycle tanked. I’ve had some positive moments where I thought maybe it had worked. But now… I just don’t have any more hope.

I’m only 12 dpo today so I suppose there could still be time left for a BFP. But my early tests are giving me BFNs. When I was pregnant before I had a positive at this point. I know every pregnancy is different. But I just really feel like this cycle is a bust. I know my body. And the tests I’m using are supposed to detect 20 mlu of HCG. That’s pretty low. I even bought a 6 days before AF FRER (which *may* detect as low as 8 mlu) to confirm. If I were pregnant I would have two lines by now. That’s simply a fact.

Unless it’s a late implanter. In which case I still don’t have much hope since most late implanters don’t hang on very long. I know there are plenty of late implanter / late BFP stories. I’ve heard the “I was convinced I wasn’t pregnant” stories. But I think those are the exceptions and I’m the rule (for a change). The science is simply not in my favor. I’ll gladly eat my words if I’m wrong. But I don’t think I am.

Sucks that I have to wait until Thurs for the official beta. Sucks that I have to keep up with the estrogen and the PIO shots until then just in case. Sucks that I can’t drown my sorrows with a glass of wine. I know everyone is rooting for me and my frosty – for which I thank you – but I’m a realist.

I guess I’ll just have to work on plan B now.

I might hide out for a bit while I lick my wounds.


3 Responses to “The Fat Lady”

  1. Oh blarg. I hold out hope that you will be one of those stories… But I know all to well how it is.

    I’m still terrified to poas.

  2. barrenlazza Says:

    Hi there, I so hope that you get your BFP. I have everything crossed for you and hope Thursday brings you good news…x

  3. […] that Fat Lady I wrote about before? Yeah, she decided not to sing just yet. I finally got a BFP a few days ago. […]

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