A Toast to Pops

June 20, 2011

I’m not really sure I’m ready to write about all this but I think I’ll just hit the highlights.

Pops took a rather sudden turn recently. One day he was up eating, drinking champagne and making plans. The next day he couldn’t get out of bed. The day after that he couldn’t hold himself up in a sitting position. The day after that he could no longer feed himself. The day after that he could barely swallow his meds crushed up in ice cream. Later that night he could barely breathe. He was really struggling to get oxygen. Right Guy and I were with him and did everything we could to make him as comfortable as possible. We stayed up all night to make sure he got morphine at least every hour. Along with anything else we could think of to make him comfortable. He passed at 4:10am this past Saturday morning. June 18th. The day before Father’s Day.

I called Hospice and they sent out a nurse to confirm death and remove his catheter, etc. And they called the funeral home people for me. I have to say that I always thought it was a stereotype but funeral home people are CREEPY. Really. They are. But they probably thought we were nuts. Since they showed up around 6am and found us drinking champagne. Pops loved wine and champagne and he would have wanted it so. So I drank a bottle of champagne at 6 in the morning to honor my father, celebrate the end of his suffering and numb my pain.

My father always said he wasn’t afraid of death. He was afraid of dying. And it wasn’t pretty. But it was mercifully short. His battle with cancer was long but the actual “active phase of dying” (that’s what they call it) was mercifully short.

Please raise a glass and toast my Pops. And if you’re lucky enough to be pregnant it needn’t be an alcoholic beverage. 😉


9 Responses to “A Toast to Pops”

  1. IVF & me Says:

    Sorry for your loss.
    Glad you’d Right Guy with you helping you and him along.
    Here is to Pops.

  2. KristelKlear Says:

    Oh, sweetheart! I’m so sorry for your loss. Cancer is a horrifying disease. I’m glad he didn’t suffer long. Yesterday must have been painful…my heart goes out to you! 😦 ::hugs::

  3. BreAnna Says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my father a few days before my birthday. Losing a parent sucks any day of the year, but there is a certain sadness when the loss happens close to a holiday.
    I’m sending lots of love your way.

  4. BB Says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Raising a glass for you (and your Pops).

  5. Katie Says:

    I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. I will definitely raise a glass for your pops tonight, and you will of course be in my thoughts. Sending lots of love. xo

  6. Fixin Says:

    Sending so much love to you. I just saw this now and am sorry I wasn’t able to send my thoughts earlier. I know how hard this all is – especially the first days, weeks, months etc. Take good care of yourself.

  7. barrenlazza Says:

    I was so sorry to read this. It seemed to happen so suddenly although I guess your Pop hadn’t been well for ages.

    It sounds like you saw your Dad off in style, and how nice it must have been for him having you both there with him at the end.

    I hope you are coping as well as possible.

    Thinking of you

  8. Suzy Says:

    Raising a glass to your Pops.
    I’m glad he went so quickly, but so sorry for your loss.

  9. Keiko Says:

    I don’t know how I missed this post… I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know he fought a hard battle and I’m glad there is some measure of peace for all involved now. You are a strong and loving daughter to have cared for him with such grace and patience. Thinking of you at this sad time and holding you and your family in my heart.

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