The Great Experiment of May 2011

May 25, 2011

So… I haven’t posted in awhile. I think I start every post these days with an apology for being a bad blogger/tweep. Such is life. I’m busy. As in BUSY. Working full time, packing, planning a move that I won’t be able to make with Right Guy, taking care of Pops… I hate not being able to plan anything. Right Guy will be moving (as will our stuff) next month. I will likely move in with Pops. At present it seems like he may hang on for awhile. Which is good and bad. It’s great to still have him around but I can’t start my new life in Seattle until he’s gone. Bittersweet whirlwind of emotions. But that’s not what I want to write about today. Today I’m back to all things infertile and medical.

As I mentioned in my last post my last MRI showed that my uterus appears to be healing itself. Slowly. So I probably won’t need surgery. But I’m still benched from TTC/FET. However, that MRI also revealed lots of antral follicles. More than I’ve ever had according to my RE. I didn’t ask for an exact count. So she retested my AMH. My AMH was 0.1. Now it is 0.9. That is not supposed to be possible. Under other circumstances perhaps you would assume that one of the results was incorrect. Except that all other indications agreed with the results at the time. When my AMH was 0.1 I had 2 antral follicles, an FSH of 16 and severe hot flashes/night sweats. Now that’s 0.9 I have (presumably) >13 antral follicles and I’ve now been off my estrogen patches for 10 days. That’s the grand experiment. Will the hot flashes return without the estrogen? I’ve been more or less OK until today. There have been a few moments that may have been hot flashes or may just have been the 90 degree weather or the fact that Pops keeps his house at 80+ degrees. But this morning… no denying it: hot flash. But no night sweats. So that’s good. Those are the worst. I think I will try to stay off the estrogen for this cycle (assuming I HAVE a cycle) and then have my FSH tested on CD3 next month.

In conclusion [I feel like I’m writing a 3rd grade essay but I’m really only now getting to my point], in the grand scheme of things I’ve been getting lots of GOOD news lately. And I recognize that. So please don’t think I’m too whiny. All this good news is somewhat disconcerting because it defies logic. AMH is not supposed to go up. Pops is supposed to be getting worse, not better. Even when it’s good news it can throw you for a loop. It changes your reality. It was easier to plan next steps with the bad news. Now it’s impossible to plan anything. It’s like an interminable two week wait. You have no idea whether you’ll be able to attend that “kegger” because you might be preggo. 😉 Well, I have no idea where I’m going to be living or working in 2 months. Or whether I’ll have health insurance. I have no idea whether Pops will still be alive next week let alone 2 months from now. So I can’t plan a trip or even commit to an event more than a week in advance.

Oy. I just want to plan SOMETHING. So I plan to POAS for the first time in a long time. I guess I’ll start today. If I am going to have a normal cycle my LH should surge soon. Not that I can do anything about it.

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