December 7, 2010

So. Here I am again after… way too long. I just don’t have time to blog these days. But it IS therapeutic so… I’m taking the time today.

Thanks to my day after Thanksgiving trip to the Emergency Room for a kidney stone (oh what fun), I ended up having a full ultrasound and another MRI. Apparently the CT scan to find the stone also showed something else and they thought I might have some other, entirely new problem. It turns out that the CT tech must be an idiot. What the tech said was on my right side, near my ovary, was in fact right in the middle of my uterus. Which is the necrosis of the pregnancy. Which, I’m told, is entirely normal to see on an ultrasound and MRI after my weird ectopic pregnancy (current beta is 43, BTW).

But the ultrasound showed something they couldn’t quite see very well. They weren’t sure if I just had a “fluffy” lining. If I had ovulated (early) then that would make sense. Or if it was “lesions” or something. All of my medical reports use the words “lesions” a lot. That’s apparently what you call something when you’re not sure exactly what it is. So they ordered the MRI to clarify.

And clarify it did. Apparently you can see all kinds of stuff on an MRI. MRI shows that it’s not a fluffy lining or mysterious lesions. It’s adenomyosis. You may remember it being a suspect back in September when I was first diagnosed/hospitalized for the ectopic. I haven’t had time to properly understand what it is, but as far as I can tell, it’s a condition that allows the inner uterine wall to sort of poke in to and mesh with the outer uterine wall/muscle. They could actually see a “tunnel” that had formed through which the embryos traveled to implant in the myometrium.

Yes, I said embryoS. Ever since the MRI my doctors have been using the plural. EmbryoS. PregnancIES. Twins. I haven’t asked for clarification. It’s pretty clear they believe it was twins. Despite the fact that I suspected this all along, the new phrasology has thrown me for a loop. It’s as if the loss has doubled somehow.

I think there may be a relationship between endometriosis and adenomyosis but I’m not sure it’s proven. The condition itself is not treatable and is usually only diagnosed after a hysterectomy. It may or may not cause me any symptoms (such as pain). If I try a FET (or another IVF) this same thing could happen again. I think the odds are against that so the docs have not said that I can’t try again. However, I have to wait three months not only due to the methotrexate but also to see if I heal properly. The adenomyosis itself will not go away. But they are hoping that the “tunnel” will heal. If it does not, it means there’s a weak spot in my uterus that might not be able to support a pregnancy. So I would have to have surgery to strengthen my uterus before I could try again.

I think I’m willing to try again if for no other reason than that we have 4 frozen embryos. If I didn’t have any icebabies I might just throw in the towel. But they are there, waiting for me. So… if I heal I think I will do a FET. If I don’t heal… I’m not sure about this surgery. I’ll have to think about that. Surrogacy would still be an option I suppose. Although I have no idea how I’d pay for that.

This is all a moot point since I can’t do anything about it right now. And, of course, I’m preoccupied with my father’s cancer. He went by ambulance to the ER the same day I was having all these tests at a different hospital. He’s home now but very weak. I’m not sure he’ll be able to do more chemo since it was the side effects that led to his hospitalization. If the disease doesn’t kill you, the cure for it will.


6 Responses to “Adenomyosis”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Lisa, Alex. Alex said: New Blog Post Adenomyosis: […]

  2. Sounds like you’re having a very rough time. I’m glad to see that you have such great support from the blog world. I really hope things start to look up for you.

  3. Barren Lazza Says:

    Hi there so sorry for this latest blow. That is just so crap. Plus your dad is sick again which means you are having to look after him instead of the other way around. I have so much admiration for the way you just keep going, taking each new set back seemingly in your stride. I hope like anything you will be able to carry those little embryos yourself in future-my fingers & toes are crossed for you.

  4. Courtney Says:

    Oh my friend … I just wish things start looking up for you. You so need a break from all of this.

    Keeping you in my thoughts constantly!!!!

  5. AL Says:

    huge hugs, Alex.

    When you mentioned on Twitter that they had found a cause, I immediately started researching it and found that there’s no fixing it and my heart just sank for you. I do have a blogger friend that had a weak spot in her uterus and underwent the surgery to repair it and is now trying again, if you ever want to check her out, her blog is

    I am glad they found the cause and you know what you’re dealing with and up against, at least.

    I hope beta is down to >1 soon (I HATE that you are still dealing with this). I know how torturous it is to have the loss drawn out so much…

    I hope your Dad’s health improves and 2011 brings you both great things.

  6. missohkay Says:

    I think about you often and hope things improve. This all just sucks and there’s nothing more eloquent that I can think of to say. ❤

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