My Cautious RE
October 2, 2010
I can’t imagine having to go through all this with a sub par doctor. My RE is absolutely WONDERFUL. She’s made herself completely available to me. She has a great bedside manner. And she’s super smart and good at what she does.
She’s so overly cautious that she’s starting to remind me of my mother when she was teaching me to swim when I was little. OK, just take two strokes and swim to me here. And then she would back up thinking I wouldn’t notice. All you have to do is make it to where I am. And then she’d back up some more. Until finally, I had swum half the length of the pool at age 4 when she had made it look like just a couple of feet. It infuriated me then, and it infuriates me now.
This is what my RE is doing now. We’ll let you go home as soon as your beta starts to drop. It drops. And not just a little. Well…. let’s wait to make sure it continues to drop. It drops for four consecutive days by more than the amount they are looking for – they wanted to see a 15% decrease every 48 hours and I was dropping about 15% DAILY. Well… let’s give it a few more days. We’d like it to be less than 10k. And that was when I insisted on going home. There was no way I was staying in the hospital until my beta dropped below 10k. It was at 34k the day I came home.
Upon release the plan was to monitor my beta twice a week. We were all thinking roughly a Tue/Fri schedule. I came home Wednesday. I went in Friday for a beta. I thought I was free until Tuesday. Yesterday’s beta decreased by 35% (down to 22k)! And yet I still have to go in tomorrow, bright and early on a Sunday, for yet another beta.
I know I shouldn’t complain. She’s just being super cautious – and that’s not a bad quality in a doctor. She called to check on me the day after I came home. She wanted to make sure I was still OK with my decision to come home. She said she would gladly put me back in the hospital if I wanted to go back. Technically there is still a risk of rupture. If my beta HCG should suddenly stop dropping and/or start rising bad things could happen. But I’m tired. I know this is going to be a long drawn out process but it feels like she keeps making it longer/harder by introducing more hoops to jump through. I’d rather just know up front what’s required of me so I can mentally prepare for it. This constant “just a little bit farther” business is mentally exhausting. And I don’t have energy to spare right now.
I still think she’s awesome. But my veins are tired. It takes two tries for any nurse to get my blood. I need a break. My veins need a break. I want to sleep in.
Clearly I’m whiny. Again. Sigh.
The pain is not helping the whiny. So I sort of have an excuse. But I still hate being whiny. Double sigh.