I’ve learned some new $0.50 words

September 22, 2010

MYO. ME. TRIAL IM.PLAN.TATION: This seems to be the term for what has happened to me. Google it. I dare you. You won’t find much. What you will find talks about rats, guinea pigs and women who have had uterine surgery – such as a C-section. It’s when the embryo implants in the myometrium – great definition, huh? 😉 According to wikipedia….

The myometrium is the middle layer of the uterine wall consisting of smooth muscle cells and supporting stromal and vascular tissue.

I think the important part of that definition is that it says UTERINE WALL as opposed to uterine LINING.

ADENOMYOSIS: This term is much more “googleable” and something my doc will check me for once my body gets back to baseline HCG=0. It has to be looked at via ultrasound/cervical scope AFTER ovulation which is something my RE has never done (and why would she?). But the presence of this condition could facilitate/cause myometrial implantation. So if I have adenomyosis and we do a FET cycle… it might happen AGAIN. Gulp. This could be a fluke or I might have an anatomical anomaly that caused it. And could cause it again.

At the moment I can’t even think about doing this again. And yet I’m terrified they will ultimately say I CAN’T do it again. That there’s something wrong with me physically that increases the chance that would happen again. As far as I can tell (from the interwebz) there *may* be a link between Adenomyosis and endometriosis. So there’s a chance my history of endo sort of caused this. But that’s jumping way ahead. We don’t even know if I have adenomyosis.

We still have to get my HCG to plummet so I can safely go home. And then I’m sure they’ll continue to monitor me closely. And then, eventually, when my body returns to normal (whatever that is) they will start running tests again to see if they can determine:

  • HOW this happened
  • WHY this happened
  • IF it DAMAGED my uterus
  • IF it’s LIKELY to happen again

I know my RE wants to get me pregnant again (or a possibly surrogate – she mentioned that as a possibility if I can’t do it physically – so don’t want to go there) and then writing this all up for a medical journal. I suppose the happy ending would make for better reading. Regardless, I think this is going to be written up somewhere at some time. Everyone here is intrigued by my case. I think I might be THE patient to visit around here if you’re in OB/GYN. I’ve never seen so many MDs (even if a lot of them are residents in training) in such close succession. Someone is stopping by all the time. But I don’t feel like too big a freak – they are all compassionate and don’t make me feel like I’m on display. But I am slowly coming to realize that I am sort of on display. And I’m OK with that if it means they learn something from it.

The depression is starting to set in (the pregnant resident I saw late last night didn’t help – I can’t be thankful enough to be on the oncology ward instead of the OB ward right now). I’m still trying to hold off on the emotional breakdown. A steady stream of visiting friends and family has helped. But I just really want to go home. Unfortunately Crazy Momz is coming again today. I think she’s coming and camping out here all day. And Right Guy had to go back to work today. So… today is gonna SUCK. It started with a second methotrexate shot and that has just sort of set the tone. And it’s not even 7am. Ugh.

I’m so dreading the Momz visit. I’ve already warned the nurse that I may be asking for extra narcotics today. 😉

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3 Responses to “I’ve learned some new $0.50 words”

  1. Waiting Lisa Says:

    I actually had my doctor say once that she should write a case study about me. Not cool. It sucks when you hit the incredibly small odds of something abnormal happening.

    That’s what I was thinking when you said you were on the oncology ward- it’s better than OB.

    Good luck today. I am having a flashback to the time I was hospitalized and Adam had to go back to work and my mom came. I love my mom, but it was not an easy transition. She actually left b’c I was so cranky, haha.

    I hope you get answers soon ❤

  2. cgd Says:

    here form LFCA.
    I am so sorry for this loss. It is so heart breaking. I hope you continue to heal both physically and emotionally and are able to go home very soon.
    Thinking of you and sending love your way.

  3. Turia Says:

    Here from LFCA. I’m so sorry that you’ve ended up being that “special” case that the docs want to use for publication. What a strange situation. I hope all the drugs do their job and you can go home soon. I also hope the docs can give you some clear answers to your questions.


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