And then there was nothing….

September 19, 2010

If you follow me on Twitter you’ve likely already heard most of this but perhaps putting it down here will make more sense. Also I know there are a few readers who are not on Twitter.

Yesterday (Saturday) I woke up around 5am in excruciating pain. It lasted all of about 5 minutes. There was no bleeding. I was pretty freaked out though so I called the RE on call. Turns out the doc on call this weekend is the fellow (RE in training sort of – a real doc but less experienced) that I’ve seen a lot of during this IVF cycle. He knows me pretty well and vice versa. So it was nice to know who I was speaking with. He told me what I thought he’d say…. it’s probably nothing since there’s no bleeding and the pain stopped. The only thing he recommended was to stay hydrated and to come in for an ultrasound – but I already had one scheduled for Monday so I should just keep that appointment.

So this morning (Sunday), or really in the middle of the night, again I woke up in horrible pain. Again it was in the lower abdomen right in the middle. I also felt an extreme urge to urinate. So I started wondering if maybe it was my bladder and not my uterus causing the pain. So this morning I used a home UTI test and sure enough it seems to indicate a UTI. So I called the doc back to see how he wanted me to handle it. He said come in to pee in a cup for a urine culture and while I was there he would go ahead and do an ultrasound.

Well, the ultrasound showed…. NOTHING. No heartbeat. No sac. No cysts. He couldn’t find anything anywhere. He checked the uterus he checked the tubes he checked the ovaries. He couldn’t find anything but a thick lining.

Since he is the fellow, he will have to run everything by my regular doc and she will have final say. But his opinion was that it was probably a miscarriage. There are different ways to handle it but he thought a D&C would be best. For several reasons. One of which is that he wants to do pathology on the D&C and if there is no fetus in there he would then assume it’s ectopic and give me methotrexate. He suggested doing the D&C tomorrow. There is NO WAY I’m doing it tomorrow. Hopefully my doc will agree and I won’t have to argue about it.

But I want, at a minimum, another ultrasound performed by someone else and TWO betas. I want to see that beta going down before I do anything. I’m currently waiting on today’s beta to come back but what will it really tell us? Given that I’m a POAS addict I already did that today and I got a very strong positive in less than a second. So clearly there’s still plenty of HCG in my body. Which doesn’t mean I didn’t miscarry. But given the wide range of normal beta numbers one reading won’t really tell us much unless it’s really really low.

There’s really not much hope here. But there is a tiny drop. I have a retroverted uterus (It tilts backwards instead of forwards). I’ve heard it can make it more difficult to find the fetus. I’m holding out for a baby who likes to play hide N seek. Even though I know the odds are stacked monumentally against that. But I think the odds of seeing NOTHING at 6 weeks 6 days are also pretty slim. So who knows….. I had been worried about no heartbeat (missed miscarriage) or an empty sac (blighted ovum). But it never occurred to me that there would just be…. NOTHING.

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One Response to “And then there was nothing….”


  1. I’m so so sorry. I’ll be saying prayers for you tonight. My thoughts are w/you. Xo


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