June 21, 2010
This is my first ICLW (if you don’t know what IComLeavWe is just click on the red banner on the right). I’m a N00b. Presumably there will be a lot of new traffic this week so I thought I’d write an About Me post to sum up what this blog is about. There are also some informative links at the top (you know, like the one that says ‘About’ 😉 and Infertility Timeline ). I started this blog just a few months ago when I started to feel an overwhelming sense of needing to get everything out. I write it for me but it would be nice if others found it useful or helpful in some way. I’m still keeping it anonymous for now so that I can feel comfortable venting about people I know in real life and to protect my boyfriend’s identity – he’s a private person. On this blog I refer to him as “Right Guy.” In the Twitterverse I’m known as @StolenEggs.
I’m 36, divorced, and I have Premature Ovarian Failure/Insufficiency (POF/POI). I discovered this by experiencing hot flashes and night sweats while on Nuva Ring (I’ve been on BC for years due to endometriosis). For those that don’t know, POF is very similar to menopause – it essentially IS menopause that occurs in women under 40. It means I’m running out of eggs and I don’t ovulate very often. It means I have a pretty slim chance of having my own biological child. It also means I’m at a greater risk for heart disease and osteoperosis. After receiving the official diagnosis Right Guy and I decided to alter our relationship timeline and go ahead and try to get pregnant now. Because it’s now or never. Marriage can happen anytime. The babymaking can’t.
As if that’s not enough to deal with, I also still take care of my father part time (I did it full time for a year and part-time for the past 4-5 years). He’s a two-time lung cancer survivor who has been weakened by chemo in both body and spirit. He currently still lives alone but that situation is always precarious. Last year he stopped eating properly and ended up hospitalized for pneumonia and malnutrition with an altered mental state (due to the infection). Once I finally got him to the hospital I still had to stay with him round the clock for three days straight until his mental state normalized. So every cough or ache or pain he experiences makes me wonder if there’s more chemo or hospitals in the near future. I’m also moving away in a year and I have to figure out what to do for him when I leave.
There have been a few studies that equate the level of stress women (and men) experience while going through infertility with the level of stress for cancer patients and people in war so I’m trying my best to do whatever I can to relax and be healthy. I’ve gotten back in to swimming which I used to do when as a kid and I’ve gotten back in to photography which has been an on and off again hobby since I was in high school. I’m contemplating acupuncture but I think I’ll just go get a massage to start with. At some point, I’d like to incorporate some wine posts in to this blog but I’m drinking a lot less these days for obvious reasons.
There are a lot of pictures on this blog. I decided to start my own series called Sunflower Sunday where I post a flower picture every Sunday. Lately I’ve gotten really into macro flower shots so I’ve got plenty of material. And I also participate in Calliope’s Photo Friday series. You never know what those themes will be!
As for recent happenings I’ve just started a low glycemic diet and am following other advice from my cousin who just started and Age Management Medicine practice. It’s really interesting stuff! I’m not sure I’m really a convert just yet but I’m giving it a whirl. On the fertility treatment front, I’m currently regrouping after a failed Clomid cycle and waiting to start an injectibles cycle next month. I have no idea if the shots will work any better than the Clomid. Essentially ALL fertility treatments work in the same way – by raising your FSH. My FSH is already high. My body is doing that all on its own. Which means I might be completely screwed on this one. I am slowly crawling out of the crater of devastation caused by the diagnosis and that realization.
Feel free to explore the blog. There’s a lot of potentially useful info in it as well as some rants. If you look to the right you’ll find a tag cloud (you may or may not need to scroll depending on your screen/resolution). You can click on any of the tags to see the relevant posts. Or, if you’re feeling lazy here’s a good place to start: Last Week’s Recap. Here’s some info on Premature Ovarian Failure/Insufficiency.