HUGE sigh of relief

May 19, 2010

Sometimes when I go to see Pops he never even wakes up. Sometimes he wakes up long enough to grunt a Thank You for bringing him groceries. Still other times he’s up and awake but practically catatonic in front of the TV. Other times he seems to be awake and somewhat coherent but doesn’t really follow the conversation or remember things said five minutes later. I’ve recently determined that this is likely more due to hearing loss than actual memory loss. That and the depression – sometimes he just doesn’t care about what’s going on around him so why bother to retain it? Sometimes he acts like a little kid when I leave and gives me a sad little boy face and a heavy dose of guilt when he asks, “What would I do without you?” And… on rare occasions… the man I used to call Dad comes out and shines. 🙂

The point is… I never know what to expect when I go see him. I wanted to tell him that I’ll be moving in a year but I just had no idea who I was going to encounter when I arrived. Which Pops was going to greet me when I got there? After dealing with repairmen all week on his behalf (his AC and hot water heater have both needed repair and I took care of that stuff for him) I was worried that I would get catatonic Pops who just can’t deal with life. But I was lucky. Incredibly lucky.

I broke the news to him. He’s not exactly thrilled about it but he took it OK. And he even remembered that Right Guy had been interviewing a month or so ago. Since we’re not moving for over a year, his first response was: “14 months? I might be dead by then.” Morbid humor – gotta love it. Although he’s not entirely kidding. At present all signs point to him being alive for awhile. But after 2 bouts of lung cancer and another with pneumonia he, unfortunately, has a point. But at the moment I’m just glad to have it out in the open and not have him put on his little boy face that tugs at my heart.

Whew. Breathing out a huge sigh of relief. Now I can go back to the mundane things like dealing with the repairmen and cleaning out his voicemail.


2 Responses to “HUGE sigh of relief”

  1. Waiting Lisa Says:

    I’m glad the conversation went well. *hugs*

  2. barrenlazza Says:

    Well done Foxy!

    You are forging ahead in leaps and bounds with your family. It must be such a relief to tell your dad your plans.

    I’m sure he will miss you terribly-especially as you do so much for him-but telling him early gives him loads of time to get used to the idea.

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